It’s alarming when you really grasp the numbers. Recently I stumbled across a statistic that explained the fact that many people no longer find value in being involved with a church or faith-based community. What used to be common for Christians was involvement in a weekend service. Today that assumption can’t be made. According to the stat, a third group has emerged to stand alongside the “churched and unchurched.” It is the “once-churched.” Essentially, it is a group of people who at one time (in their adulthood) attended regularly but for whatever reason stopped going. I am interested in the “whatever reason.”
I asked some who I know. Some said the cost of going was higher than the reward of going. The “once-churched” I talked to described a list of do’s and don’ts, early start times, cliques, irrelevant teachings, and lack of trust as the reasons they decided to skip out on going to a church. When I pressed further it came down to trust. They did not trust that it would be worth their time, energy and effort to attend, yet maintained their value of spirituality.
The “once-churched” number are in the millions. Many slipped out the church’s back door and nobody realized they were gone. No one called. No one reached out. It only further reinforced their perceptions. Bitter and feeling betrayed in their heart, most still wanted to connect with God; just not at the church. Sad. These are good people.
What would happen if every church poured over their attender’s list and identified the people who were no longer there? What if they called, sent a card, letter, or dropped by to say, “We completely missed it. We are SORRY that we failed you. We need to get better at what we do. We don’t expect you to attend here, but please consider finding some place to reconnect?” What would happen?
It is not about increasing attendance. It is about being a peace maker to those who are offended, bitter, broken, and betrayed.
If you read this and it described your experience, on behalf of pastoral leadership and clergy, we want to say we are sorry. If trust has been broken, please forgive the person, pastor, or church community that failed you. They just missed it and though they have not said it, they miss you. Try it again. Try a new place. Consider connecting again. It may sooth the soul.
Much hope and more love,
Jason
